It was a long, hard, dusty road laced with many tears and the gnashing of teeth. Even the scent of bitter almonds, too. But Yolanda can exclusively reveal that international music superstar Pink (or P!nk, if you prefer) has very quietly and at long last sold her expensive pad in Malibu’s celebrity-soaked Point Dume neighborhood. And she didn’t do nearly as bad on the transfer as Yolanda was expecting.
You see, we were all set for Ms. Pink to take a big loss. Not so.
Let’s explain. The Grammy-winning Ms. Pink — who for a decade or more has been one of the world’s top-earning musicians — paid a hefty $11,850,000 for the landlocked house back in October 2010, way more than Yolanda thought it was worth. She first (unsuccessfully) attempted to unload it beginning in June 2015 with an asking price of $13,995,000. With no luck, she delisted and gave the ol’ real estate rodeo another go this February (2016) with a new and improved ask of $12,995,000.
Listen, kiddies, we like Ms. Pink (real name: Alecia Moore). Although we don’t care much for her music (except for “Just Like A Pill”, which is fantastic), there’s no denying she’s both a very talented and very hard-working lady. Seriously, have y’all seen that acrobat shit she does at her shows?!
So we like her. But we don’t like her Malibu house. And we never thought anyone would pay more than $12 million for this pile. But after more than a year, it’s finally happened. The lucky Ms. Pink (and her hubby, retired motocross racer Carey Hart) have scored a big-time $12,500,000 for the walled and gated 1.2-acre estate.
Now listen, y’all. Yolanda doesn’t mean to sound spoiled or jaded, but we are having a real tough time writing about this particular house today. It’s not that it’s horribly ugly or offensive — Lord knows we’ve written about much, much uglier houses — it’s just so damn ordinary. A lot of brown and slip-cover staged furniture and stucco. Meh.
How about this? Instead of trudging through another set of our dreary commentary, we’re gonna be lazy (and kind to y’all) and just throw all the pictures on here sans our sassy interpretation. Feel free to make your own personal judgments on the house. Capiche?
Sorry Charlies, we just can’t with it today.
Although public records clearly show the house has 5,218-square-feet of living space, current marketing materials put the square footage at a much more substantial total of 7,450. We’re not sure what caused the discrepancy, but we are pretty damn certain there are 6 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms on the property.
Other features and amenities of the vaguely Hawaiian-themed crib include a 5-car garage, tons of off-street parking, a huge saltwater infinity pool w/ spa, a gourmet kitchen with two islands and top-fleet appliances, hardwood floors, floor-to-ceiling windows, a koi pond, and a large stone terrace with peek-a-boo views of the Pacific Ocean.
Best of all, the house transfers with a highly-coveted key to the locked gate that leads to all-but-private (and gorgeous) Little Dume Beach.
And then there’s all the celebrity neighbors. Just a few of the folks within sugar-borrowing include Julia Roberts, Matthew McConaughey, Chris Martin, Barbra Streisand, and James Perse, and so many more.
But who could the big bucks buyer be? Angelina Jolie? Kylie Jenner? (Just kidding!)
Well, y’all may be surprised when we tell you that he is not a big fat Hollywood celebrity at all. Rather, he is a Frenchman named Matthieu Pigasse. Despite his rather unfortunate surname, he’s a very well-respected fellow.
You may have never heard of Mr. Pigasse, kiddies, but in the world of international finance he’s a bonafide damn rockstar. Since 2009, he has been the CEO of the France arm of international investment bank Lazard. He is also — or was — the Vice-Chairman of Lazard Europe and he was profiled by the Wall Street Journal last year at a time when he was the key advisor to the Greek government about its debt deal with the Eurozone.
Apart from his prominent position in banking, Mr. Pigasse has also broadened his financial interests to include the media business. He owns or is a major shareholder in French newspapers, magazines, and radio shows, as well as the French versions of the Huffington Post and Vice. Additionally, and for what it’s worth, Mr. Pigasse was once married to or at least romatically partnered with French media personality Marie Drucker. (Yolanda is not certain if a marriage ever took place, but Mr. Pigasse has been married to a lady named Alix Etournaud since 2010.)
Our gurl Wikipedia says Mr. Pigasse, despite his vast wealth, owns neither a car or a house. Well, obviously he’s got the house now, and Malibu’s not a very bike- or walk-oriented place so Mr. Pigasse will eventually have to purchase a car, we expect. You see? They all come around eventually.
As for Ms. Pink, Mr. Hart, and their young daughter Willow, the trio now primarily reside on their 200++ acre ranch/vineyard estate in a semi-remote area of the Santa Ynez valley, up near beautiful Santa Barbara. The couple paid at least $12 million for their three-parcel estate a few years ago. The property features a massive vineyard with Cabernet Sauvignon, Grenache Blanc, Grenache Noir, Cab Franc, Petit Verdot and Malbec grapes, according to the listing. There are pastures for horses and cattle and other livestock.
The main house was built in 1992 and weighs in at 6,392-square-feet with 4 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms. Other features of the estate include a 2,500-square-foot guest house with 2 beds and baths, a 12-stall barn, an infinity pool, and a private lake. And then there’s that — ahem — unappetizing interior decor. That’s one way to keep folks out of the house and workin’ on the ranch, we suppose.
Pink’s agent: Lily Harfouche, Coldwell Banker
Matthieu Pigasse’s agent: Shen Schulz, Sotheby’s International Realty