Unfortunately, so does Yolanda. Yeah. Although we had blessedly forgotten about it for a little while — until now. Damn you, real estate. You reminded us of that hot mess.
That thing (we refuse to acknowledge it as a song) was released by a band (or a “DJ duo”) called The Chainsmokers. Now, you might’ve thought that such a gimmicky and stupid thing would relegate said band to one hit wonder status. But apparently not. The world has reached the point where one hit wonders no longer exist, which we think is a real damn shame. We miss those olden days when novelty performers would have a quick blip of fame and disappear into the big blue yonder. So much more fun.
Yes, we miss those days of yore. But enough of ol’ Yolanda’s bitterness. We’re here to discuss the real estate. Can y’all guess which not-a-one-hit-wonder is out spending the big bucks?
In the past two years, the Chainsmokers have racked up one top 10 Billboard Hot 100 hit (“Roses“), one top 3 hit (“Don’t Let Me Down“), and they just released a new song called “Closer” which is currently the #1 song in the whole damn USA, at least according to the Billboard chart. Oh, and they also just announced a new duet with Chris Martin himself. In just two years, the band has advanced from novelty gimmick to certified hitmakers. They’re killin’ it. And without question, they’ve made some major bank.
For a time, Yolanda — ignorant ignoramus that she is — assumed The Chainsmokers were women because their songs always have female voices, right? But nope. The group is comprised of two male frat bro-looking DJs from the east coast, Drew Taggart and Alex Pall.
Yolanda recently heard whispers through the real estate grapevine that both band members recently coughed up several million bucks each for their own big new houses in the Hollywood Hills and West Hollywood areas. And indeed, though it took a bit of sleuthing, Yolanda was able to confirm that the pair did indeed purchase two expensive residences, one in the trendy West Hollywood/Beverly Grove area and one in the celebrity-infested Hills above WeHo.
Let’s start with the (slightly) cheaper house, Alex Pall’s fairly remote Hollywood Hills pad. Our Mr. Pall paid $2,695,000 for the property through something called “Villa Moo LLC”. The unique (and architecturally-disjointed) place is located on the very same street as the Lookout Mountain Air Force Base, purchased by Jared Leto a couple years ago.
Located on a narrow street in a difficult-to-access neighborhood of the Hollywood Hills, the unconventional “architectural modern” is completely obscured from the street by a wall of thick hedge bushes and other dense foliage.
A small street-fronting gate leads down a long flight of stone steps to the intricately-carved front door. Yes, that is indeed a tree growing through the front foyer.
Per the listing the 1931 home was “designed for the display of art and those that create it.” The living room sports lots of wall space for hanging stuff in addition to broad canyon views.
The mostly-stainless kitchen has high-end appliances galore, including name brands like Bulthaup, Miele, Sub Zero and Gaggenau. Whew, that’s a mouthful.
The master bedroom has dark stonework underfoot and vertigo-inspiring floor-to-ceiling windows. Overhead is a very unique tin-faced retractable ceiling for stargazing on those warm summer nights.
The stonework continues in the master bath, which has a free-standing tub and an open shower with rainfall showerhead. Also, check out the bidet… and the conventional crapper.
One of the guest suites. Truth be told, Yolanda prefers that green tile-slathered bath to the much starker master bathroom.
We’re not sure who Mary Alma Parker is — she’s listed as the longtime owner and seller of this house — but homegurl clearly had a real thing for gold and animal heads and golden animal heads. And some weird window treatments, too.
Speaking of weird, the outdoor patios are accessed via two full-size glass garage doors. Certainly it’s unusual, but it actually seems fairly practical, right? The door tracks look ugly, but we could live with it.
The yard, dotted with old oaks and cycad trees, looks like the enchanted sort of place where you wouldn’t bat an eyelash if Frodo, Gandalf, and a whole troupe of hobbits went marching by. There’s lots of little corners and crannies for a private moment of reflection, for playing hide-and-seek, or for spell-casting (?).
There’s no pool, but the house does sport an intimate jacuzzi (stainless, of course). And then there’s an unexpectedly massive outdoor lounge with a pizza oven and intricate stone floor detailing. It’s rather magical, dare we say.
See what mature landscaping (and good picture-taking) can do? The lot is only .41-acre and on a very steep slope, but Yolanda would swear it’s at least a solid full acre. All that with a fully-renovated 3,579-square-foot house with 4 bedrooms and 2.75 bathrooms?! We know the home may not be to everyone’s taste, but at $2,695,000 this place almost seems like a steal to Yolanda.
But we digress. And now for the other Chainsmoker…
Drew Taggart’s new house is a much more conventional affair than his bandmate’s. The new spec-built modern residence is sleek and unabashedly contemporary, with all the bells and whistles any deep-pocketed young buyer would expect. We’d even go so far as to call this place the “millionaire’s quintessential bachelor pad”. But last time we mentioned a bachelor pad on this blog, we got some irate messages from folks who thought we were attempting to pin a sexuality on our story’s subject.
So let us be clear: we admit no knowledge of Mr. Taggart’s sexuality or lack thereof. All we’re saying is that this looks like a house for a single, unmarried, rich young man. Capiche?
As is typical of the many new modern homes in the WeHo/Beverly Grove area, the house has an open floor plan with a whole lot of those itty-bitty fluorescent lights in the roof. Luxe materials abound.
The kitchen has high-end appliances and is trimmed in what appears to be African blackwood or some other exotic wood veneer. A large center island has a raised wooden shelf for drinks or what-have-you. Elsewhere downstairs (just behind the front door) is a wee little office with an attached full bathroom for private selfie-taking.
The upstairs landing has wide-plank (oak?) flooring.
The master suite is comfortable but not oppressively huge, something that makes Yolanda very glad indeed. Not that we’re ever likely to spend a night in here, but many of the homes we’ve discusssed recently have bedrooms that could swallow Nessie herself. And nobody would ever be the wiser!
Oh, there’s also a nifty disappearing glass wall with a wee outdoor patio.
The master bathroom is open to the bedroom and has a rather stunning wall of some sort of blonde wood. There’s the expected glass-walled shower, a soaking tub with fireplace, and a private water closet.
The 4,758-square-foot residence has a total of 5 bedrooms and 5.5 baths. Above are a few of the spare bedrooms/bathrooms/closets.
Unlike many of the newly-built homes in this area, the developer managed to eke out a fairly generous amount of outdoor space on the relatively puny .15-acre lot. The negative-edge pool also has a nifty (if rather silly) mini-waterfall thing going on.
For all this Mr. Taggart paid $3,295,000 (through something called “Mainer LLC”) just about a week before Mr. Pall bought his own place.
So for all of you who keep railing on about how the music industry is in terrible shape, just look at these two. In two years they’ve gone from being a joke to being crowned EDM gods (or something) and spending a combined $6 million on luxury Los Angeles real estate.
As part of this writing assignment, Yolanda listened to all of Mr. Pall & Mr. Taggart’s new hit songs. To their credit — and although it’s not to Yolanda’s old-fashioned tastes — we must say that their newer music is quite catchy and seems to have abandoned the gimmicky nature of “Selfie” entirely for a much more mainstream electronic sound.
Perhaps these two purposely made their first release sound outrageous to get attention? Perhaps! We’d say that’s pretty smart of them, if anyone were to ask Yolanda. Which they didn’t, of course.
Selling agent (Hollywood Hills): Matt Fonda, Coldwell Banker
Mr. Pall’s agent: Mica Rabineau, Nourmand & AssociatesSelling agent (West Hollywood): Alejandro Lombardo, Keller Williams Hollywood Hills
Mr. Taggart’s agent: Jen Winston, The Agency