Yolanda would like to thank all our readers, lurkers, [insert whatever label you prefer] on here. We know we should really be thanking y’all more often. Y’all are how your gurl gets those darn mortgage payments paid! But today is really a banner occasion. Specifically, we need to call out the One Direction fandom.
Donald Trump voice: Thank you! THANK YOU!
Let’s explain. As is customary, Yolanda logged onto her ol’ battleaxe of a smartphone just before bedtime to check her email. We were confounded to find a whole stack of unopened “letters” in our inbox. “Huh. That’s weird,” we thought. So we strolled over to the blog and took a peek at today’s page views.
Well, kids, after we regained consciousness, we clambered off the floor and prayed that our web host wouldn’t murder us for sustaining so much traffic. Seriously, the number was huge. Way, way bigger than the total number of views we’ve gotten since we started this little hot mess of a blog.
Apparently what happened is our BFF Your Mama casually mentioned Yolanda’s in one of her always-fascinating posts, and the massive One Direction fan community got hold of our old story about Louis Tomlinson buying that big ol’ compound in the woods of Calabasas.
Just so you know, kids, that post was written several months ago. Needless to say (we’re sure all of you are aware) circumstances have changed. At the time we wrote that thang, we heard the house was purchased at least partially to house Mr. Tomlinson’s baby mama, Briana Jungwirth.
We kinda doubt Miss Jungwirth is living on the estate any longer, given all those reports that she and Mr. Tomlinson no longer get along as well as they once did. They’ve also recently been spotted exchanging their son in a Calabasas shopping center parking lot, so we sorta doubt they are one cozy oddball family any longer. Most likely, it’s just Mr. Tomlinson who is currently living there with whatever staff and girlfriends (or boyfriends?) he keeps on retainer.
So we’ve gotta thank y’all and our gurl Your Mama over at Variety. She’s the real OG. And her posts have and continue to provide endless hours of enjoyment to us and to so many others. Blogging/writing is and always will be just a silly hobby for us, but we appreciate the love. We’d always prefer to be read by a lot of folks then just one or two, right?
Now off we go to bed. Nighty night.
Oh, just one more thing: Listen, y’all, we always love reading your emails, but kindly cool the bombarding us with speculation about Mr. Tomlinson’s sexuality. Yolanda really does not care where Mr. Tomlinson sticks his Vienna Bratwurst or whom he allows to sample it, for that matter. And we most assuredly know zilch about that “Larry” conspiracy theory mess.
Goodness gracious! Goodnight!