The Real Estate Yenta! The Old Lady! Donald Frump! There are so many names for Yolanda Yakketyyak. Underneath it all, Yolanda is a kind and gentle lass who would love nothing more than to pet flowers and sniff puppies all day. But a gurl’s gotta pay her damn bills somehow. She writes long and oft-boring essays about the homes of some people you may have heard of before. But probably not.

Yolanda wants one thing in this crooked, nasty old world. Yolanda wants to know everything about every high-end home sale in Los Angeles. That’s what she wants. There is nothing in this Yolanda world that isn’t pointing her toward real estate. Oh gosh how she loves it. Oh gosh, oh gosh. She is 98 years old. She is that old. But she doesn’t care. She loves it. Each and every house in LA. What a dream! What an asparagus wish!

And if you have questions, tips, suggestions, requests — please do email [email protected].