EDIT: (Yolanda removed the original pic we had up here. Our hoity-toity sister, Ethel Yakketyyak, left a disdainful-sounding voicemail reminding us that there might be little kids reading this site. No more PG-13 pictures. Boo hiss.)
Our bitches over at Dlisted kept it trendy for Turkey Day by featuring some innovative turkey-bootie-cum-peen-head-hats on their site. But since Yolanda is an old lady and not up with these new-fangled gadgets and gizmos, we’re going traditional and serving y’all up some banquet-sized rump roast. Imported from Armenia and 78% silicone, kiddies. Even the vegans among y’all can find something to munch on up in there.
And no, that is not Yolanda serving all you fools, so don’t get it twisted. That would be our assistant Eumphemia. We don’t do heavy platters or household chores or walking or any man not named Paul Newman. Got it? And anyway, we’re luxuriating on an undisclosed tropical island.
But we digress.
We are so, so thankful for our little growing cadre of loyal readers and we wish you peace, love, joy and hearty laughter with your families today. Just don’t bring up politics. If your family is like Yolanda’s it will positively end with fistfights, shattered china, and a gallon of Four Roses. Okay, that actually might be a sorta-fun ending. But there are better ways to wind up there, right?
Happy Thanksgiving! And we can’t wait to write about the turkey bootie billionaire’s future new mansion.