$100 million worth of lightning strikes twice

“All it takes is one.”

That’s what we said when we first discussed this house way back in April (2016). Yolanda thinks it’s ugly, we do. Do we think it’s worth $100 million? No, we do not. But as we also said, nobody cares what Yolanda thinks. One bazillionaire took a shine to it and there you go. Poof. Sold.

Yes, everyone, that spec-mega-mansion on hoity-toity Carolwood Drive in the Holmby Hills transferred today for $100 million. Tied with the Playboy Mansion for most expensive LA house sold. Ever!

Before we start our normal digressions, let’s address the mega-rich elephant in the room. We know what the first question on everyone’s mind is.

Well, kiddies, we don’t yet know for sure who the buyer is. We haven’t even discussed this transaction with anyone except our friend Don Juan/Won/Wan (the sale closed today). But already we very strongly suspect the insanely wealthy new owner may be multi-billionaire Tom Gores.

Why? It’s because the buyer’s real estate agent happens to be a lady named Tiffany Martin. And our Ms. Martin — bless her real estate heart — just happens to be a Gores family member. She handles all Mr. Gores’ real estate transactions and hardly anyone else’s. And why should she handle anything else, right? She’s made a fortune and been kept very busy just by Mr. Gores, who has long been one of LA’s biggest real estate ballers.

Now kiddies, don’t go around screaming that Mr. Gores — perhaps best-known for his ownership of the NBA’s Detroit Pistons — is the buyer. We’ll have to wait for property records to clear and our research to be conducted before we can verify that. But Yolanda has learned to trust our hunches and we’ve got a palpably pulsing hunch in this case.

For what it’s worth, the Michigan-born-and-bred Mr. Gores currently splits his time between serious compounds in Malibu and in Beverly Park, that ultra-expensive (and steroidal) guard-gated community in the Beverly Hills Post Office.

Mr. & Mrs. Gores

Anyway, the house may be located in Holmby Hills (like the Playboy Mansion) and may have sold for $100 million (like the Playboy Mansion) but the structures themselves could not be more divergent. Where Hef’s palace is old and stale and probably has STDs oozing from the walls, this particular shopping mall is modern, unblemished, almost Vegas-like in its appearance.

The stats: 30,000 square feet of living space, parking for 50 vehicles, a 10-car garage, a theater complex, a mansion-sized master suite, two outdoor pools, three firepits, one tennis court, one basketball court, hiking trails, and 138,645 recessed LED lights. And nary a square inch of modesty.

Congrats to the mega-mansion’s builders: Gala Asher and Ed Berman.

Finally, we’ve got to give a sincere congratulations to the mansion’s listing agent, Ginger Glass (married to Mr. Asher, she is). Dear Ms. Glass, we hope you’ll treat yourself to a nice new Benz or Bentley (or both) from the proceeds of this sale. You earned it on this one. You know you did. And we’d like to formally invite you (and your hubby, if he likes) out to dinner. We owe you an apology for dissing your $100 million house so ruthlessly last time.

Let Yolanda take you to the restaurant of your choice. Nobu? Madeo? Whatever you like. We’ll pinch our pennies together and we won’t even beg you for buyer info. No, really! We promise. Pinky swear. Bonnets off to you on the hustle, lassie.

Like we say, it’s a mad, mad, mad, world. A big mad world. All it took is one mad billionaire and Ms. Glass roped that one in.

These things don’t just happen. Right, Ethel?

Listing agent: Ginger Glass, Coldwell Banker
Buyer’s agent: Tiffany Martin, The Agency



2 Replies to “$100 million worth of lightning strikes twice”

  1. That must be a record price paid for a doublewide, right?

  2. I am in love with you! Reading this blog had made a bad day good!

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