This one is a long-distance dedication to a handsome, scholarly reader from Santa Barbara. We’ve mentioned him before on this blog — again, let’s call him Barbara Bane.
Our Mr. Bane recently wrote in again and generously provided us with a number of juicy Montecito/Santa Barbara real estate tidbits. One of the several properties Mr. Bane mentioned was this contemporary casa, which sits high in the hills of Montecito overlooking the Pacific and recently sold for the strangely-complicated price of $6,312,293 to a mysterious corporate entity. Who could the new owner be, Mr. Bane wondered.
Well, kiddies, Yolanda just happens to know that the buyer is a British-born investment banker named Andrew Pisker.
If Mr. Pisker’s name sounds vaguely familiar, it’s because we’ve written about him before on this very blog. It was he who — earlier this year — sold another contemporary Montecito pad for $6,850,000 to “The Profit” TV star Marcus Lemonis.
Anyway, Mr. Pisker was judged to be one of the “ten sexiest male bankers on earth” by our fellow website owner/blogger, the beautiful Xenia Tchoumitcheva. Our gurl Xenia said of Mr. Pisker, “His defined and flawless features, suggest strong character and masculinity.” Ooh la la!
Unfortunately for Xenia (and Yolanda), Mr. Pisker is currently married to a lady named Belinda Wilson Pisker, who appears to be some sort of photographer or portrait artist. Something artsy. The couple have a dog. And our Mr. Pisker’s main hobby appears to be collecting and restoring vintage Ferraris. We’re talking cars worth seven figures, kiddies.
A long gated driveway shaded by some beautiful oak trees and lined by fragrant rosemary plants (some of which still appear to be in plastic pails?!) leads to a roomy motorcourt and the garage space for six cars. Perfect for Mr. Pisker, car collector.
A stone pathway leads up a three-step stairway and to the glass-and-wood front door.
The house was originally built in 1987, which is fairly apparent when looking at the interior decor. Lots of honey-colored wood up in there, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The master bedroom has a private balcony overlooking the Montecito hills and the Pacific ocean out yonder, as does a decidedly retro-ish office. There are a total of 3 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms in the mini-estate. Although listing materials do not indicate the compound’s total square footage, public records put it at 3,342. That number may not include the two-story detached pool house, however.
Speaking of the guest house, it’s accessed via a long and narrow steel bridge that connects it to the main living area. The pool itself is infinity-edged and has an attached spa for chilly nights. (But what the heck is that stone baby lying on the spa’s side?! Creepy).
Mr. Pisker’s nearest new neighbors include a whole bunch of low-profile business people. And just a couple streets away is a big ass Montecito lot owned by Gwyneth Paltrow, who bought her property from shady Nigerian playboy Kola Aluko last year. Ms. Paltrow is currently doing what she does best: pissing off all her new Montecito neighbors with her plans to build a gigantic, view-blocking mansion. Lordy!