No Hidden Hills discussion could be complete without mentioning the Kardashians, long the area’s most famous (or infamous, if you prefer) residents. When they’re not busy taking butt selfies or doin’ the daily pap stroll, the krazy K-Klan buys and sells multi-million dollar Valley mansions like normal folks go through laundry detergent. And so, here we are.
Although the transaction has not yet officially closed, Yolanda happens to know that 20-year-old Kylie Jenner will soon sell the smallest of her three — yes, three — Hidden Hills mansions. The sale price will be $5,275,000 — a fat $775,000 more than the $4.5 million that Miss Jenner paid for the 5,154-square-foot confection just over a year ago. That’s all the more impressive because Miss Jenner reportedly never spent a night in this house and it does not appear she made any significant alterations other than some paint and new furniture.
The soon-to-be-new owners, Yolanda also happens to know, are a couple from up north — the San Francisco Bay Area, to be precise. Their names are John & Elia Schiavo. And while you’ve likely never heard of them, y’all have almost assuredly tasted Mr. Schiavo’s money maker at some point in your life. Oops — does that sound wrong? Beg pardon!
What we mean to say is that Mr. Schiavo is the President and CEO of Otis Spunkmeyer, the uber-popular food distribution company most famous for its baked goods. Cookies and muffins, oh my!
Onto the house, which is one of the most private in all of Hidden Hills — it sits down an almost ridiculously long driveway at the end of a little-traveled cul-de-sac. About the only neighbors Mr. Schiavo will have to deal with are the three with whom he shares the driveway. One of them, of course, is Kylie Jenner, who still owns the larger mansion next door (but no longer lives there).
And for a nearly $5.3 million residence, the home’s exterior is unpretentious to the point of being almost too modest. Yolanda wonders if there’s a gold mine or maybe some murder victim’s body buried under this place and the plain-Jane (if pleasant) facade is just to ward off nosey neighborhood Nellies.
The single-story crib was built in 2012 and sports a commodious 5,154-square-feet of living space with 4 bedrooms and 3.5 baths. There are wide-plank hardwood floors and a stacked-stone fireplace in the airy living room, which also includes a wet bar.
The kitchen has marble and stainless everything, although the center island is a wee bit smaller than we’ve become accustomed to seeing.
The master suite includes a fireplace, a sitting area, and French doors that access the backyard. The master bath is slathered in marble and around the corner is a full-sized walk-in closet. Elsewhere there’s a library/study with baby blue walls and few (if any?) books.
Perhaps the best feature of the sprawling 3.3-acre estate is that it backs up to a huge swathe of open, undeveloped land — there’s something about that rural country feeling that Yolanda loves. Recreational amenities include a pool/spa, cabana w/ fireplace, and an outdoor BBQ set. There are also rolling lawns and even a petite vineyard.
We never thought we’d say this and Kardashian in the same sentence, but the whole place is charming and, well, kinda cute.
Anyway, Mr. & Mrs. Schiavo have their longtime home in Lafayette (CA) up for sale at $2,595,000, and online listings say it is currently in escrow to be sold for an unknown price. Records show that the Schiavos bought the 1994-built mini-mansion on 3.12 for $1,056,500 way back in 1996.
As for Miss Jenner, she still owns the $6,025,000 house directly next to the one she just sold to the Schiavos. But she has long since traded up to a $12,050,000 spec-mansion on a different Hidden Hills street. However, kiddies, she doesn’t actually live there either. Yeah, an unused $12 million, 13,000+ square foot mansion for a gal who just turned 20 years old and can’t even drink legally. Y’all read that right.
We say “unused” because the big Hidden Hills house is currently having renovations done (what renovations does a brand-new spec-mansion need? Who knows). But in any case, nowadays Miss Jenner has been residing far, far away at her rental mansion in the Beverly Hills Post Office area of LA, just off Coldwater Canyon.
Sources say that Lady Kylie — who is currently CEO of her own billion-dollar brand — is paying $125,000 per month (or something equally silly) for the Mediterranean mansion, which sits in a tiny gated community that is more like a gated driveway shared with two other houses, really. There is a tennis court, a putting green, a big pool, and a vineyard. Plus majestic westward views out toward the Pacific.
Interested in Miss Jenner’s rental mansion? Act quick — it’s currently listed for sale at $35,000,000.
Oh to be young, fickle, and filthy rich. We know these Kardashian gurls are frequently derided for being publicity hogs and having “no talent”. Maybe that’s true in the conventional sense. But they mint money like nobody’s business.
And that, kiddies, is a talent that Yolanda would forsake all her other talents to have.