Today’s story is gonna be short but oh-so-sweet. Sorry, everyone, but Yolanda has got an early morning appointment at our local LA courthouse. You see, our second ex-husband George has apparently been running his mouth all over town. Talkin’ ’bout some nonsense such as how we “stole” his 32-karat diamond ring and his mother’s diamond-encrusted brooch. Now he’s suing us for their return! The nerve.
Our lawyer has cautioned us against it, but Yolanda is going to publicly respond to these hurtful accusations right here and now. First off, it’s not “his” ring and not “his mama’s” broach. Those belong to Yolanda. Secondly, we never stole anything. They were gifts — gifts of the kind that wealthy gentlemen regularly give their wives. Stealing is just tacky. Yolanda would never.
Lastly, it ain’t a 32-karat ring. We got this thing examined over in downtown and damned if this rock isn’t 18 karats. On a good day.
That cheap bastard!
But we digress. Excuse our language, and back to the subject at hand. As y’all should know, the LA real estate market is flaming hot right now, particularly in the tony coastal areas of town. In the past year alone, the sale price records have been broken in Malibu ($85,000,000 courtesy of Dodgers owner Mark Walter), Pacific Palisades ($32,500,000 courtesy of financier Richard Hollander), Hermosa Beach ($15,000,000 courtesy of investor Jean Marc Chapus) and Venice ($14,600,000 courtesy of tech entrepreneur Brendan Iribe).
Now Manhattan Beach — long the city of choice for sports stars and other rich fitness buffs — has officially joined the record-breaking real estate madness. Just last month, the single-family home price record was shattered when a house on the coveted Strand area of town transferred for a mind-bending $21,000,000.
What makes this sale all the more spectacular is that this place is not some fancy spec-mansion. Nor does it enjoy a significant amount of acreage. This house is a architecturally ho-hum Craftsman — some might even say it’s clunky-lookin’ — and it was built way back in 1922. The lot is a modest .11-acre.
At 5,967-square-feet with 9 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms, the big blue house is definitely large, but as y’all can see, it ain’t exactly pretty. A row of garages that can accommodate five cars in all greets street-side passers-by. The house does sit on a dazzling strip of sand, but even so — $21 million?! That’s a ton of cash!
So who could the mysterious buyer be? Well, here’s where things get interesting. Their identity is, of course, shielded behind a strangely-named corporate entity. But a deep dive into records reveals that this entity is directly connected to a local woman named Jennifer Greenberg Messer.
Ms. Greenberg Messer isn’t anyone most folks have ever likely heard of before. But she is very, very rich. Make no mistake about that.
This lady, you see, happens to be the only daughter of Robert Greenberg, the entrepreneurial whiz who founded the Skechers shoe company back in the 1990s and built it into what is today a $3.1 billion revenue (per year!) retail giant. Today, it is (by far) the largest employer in Manhattan Beach, where the company is still headquartered. The family — Robert Greenberg and his five adult sons and one adult daughter (that would be Ms. Greenberg Messer!) — still control the business, from what Yolanda can tell.
To be perfectly honest, kiddies, Yolanda is unsure whether Ms. Greenberg Messer bought this house herself, or whether the buyer is one of her brothers and she’s just a convenient front. Whatever the case, it was clearly one of the Greenbergs who plunked down the big bucks for this ol’ beotch.
Records reveal that the Greenberg family quietly owns a massive amount of luxury LA real estate. In addition to their new $21 million beast, there are also following properties:
— A 1,938-square-foot house on the Manhattan Beach Strand, bought in 2011 for $6,500,000
— A 1,569-square-foot house in Hermosa Beach, bought in 2015 for $3,750,000
— A 3,282-square-foot house on the Hermosa Beach Strand, bought in 2016 for $7,400,000 and sold four months later for the same amount
— A 4,352-square-foot house on the Manhattan Beach Strand, bought in 2010 for $7,500,000
— A 5,327-square-foot house on the Manhattan Beach Strand, bought in 2004 for $4,365,000
— A 2,829-square-foot house on the Manhattan Beach Strand, bought in 2016 for $14,000,000
— A 2,574-square-foot house in Manhattan Beach, bought in 2010 for $4,000,000
— A 4,266-square-foot house in Manhattan Beach, bought in 2010 for $6,000,000
— A parcel of vacant land in Hermosa Beach, bought in 2015 for $3,750,000
— A 4,000-square-foot house in Hermosa Beach, bought in 2012 for $2,500,000
— A 1,224-square-foot house in West Hollywood
— A 7,008-square-foot house in Beverly Hills, bought in 2008 for $6,995,000
— A 5,418-square-foot house in Los Feliz, bought in 2015 for $2,995,000
— A 5,820-square-foot house in Beverly Hills Post Office, inside “The Summit” guard-gated community, bought in 2015 for $8,550,000
There’s much more Greenberg luxury real estate, of course, but Yolanda really must dash. Diamonds are forever, kiddies, and so is real estate. But not oceanfront real estate. And the diamonds might go away, too, if we don’t skedaddle on out of here. Wish us luck!