Bill Gross gets a big fat divorce!

Although we hate to revel in other people’s sorrow, naturally, and normally some rich folks’ divorce (or poor folks’ divorce, for that matter) wouldn’t be cause for a write-up, we think this particular case is pertinent to our little blog here.

Yes, Bill & Sue Gross are getting the big D.

Divorce, painful as it may (or may not) be for those involved, means good things for real estate gossips. Divorce is one of the main reasons people buy and sell houses, after all.

It was only a few months back that Yolanda scrubbed through Mr. & Mrs. Gross’s property portfolio in great detail. At that time, we had no idea there was trouble a-brewin’ in Laguna Beach or Beverly Hills or wherever the Grosses happened to be living on that particular day.

Maybe there wasn’t trouble brewing back then. We don’t know for sure, of course, but it seems that Mr. & Mrs. Gross were not separated for very long beforehand. It was less than a year ago (January ’16) that they (together) gave $40 million to UC Irvine. Sudden divorces are often the most acrimonious kind and Mrs. Gross is already being repped by high-powered Hollywood “disso queen” Laura Wasser, who is a busy bee right now. She’s also handling Ms. Jolie’s side of the Brangelina split.

As y’all may know, Yolanda likes to give credit where credit is due. And Mr. & Mrs. Gross were married for a whopping 31 years, which is a pretty incredible feat here in Lalaland. Or down behind the Orange Curtain, for that matter. Just think about it — 31 years?!?! Holy mackerel! Ferris Bueller had not yet even had his Day Off back in 1985! Congrats on an epic run, Grosses.

“But why should we care about these two?” That’s what you’re probably thinking, right?

Well, Yolanda can give you at least five huge reasons why. The couple own a truly billionaire baller-style array of properties. And here’s just the few we know about. Yolanda suspects there could be more. Aspen? Hawaii? New York? Surely they must have something fabulous in at least one those locales, right? But before we digress any further, here’s the deets.

Mr. Gross is an asset manager. He happens to be one of the most prominent asset managers in all the world, actually. Known in Wall Street and in media as the “Bond King“, he makes do with an estimated net worth of $2.4 billion. Mr. Gross is also a world-renowned philatelist with a world-famous stamp collection.

While Yolanda ain’t aware if there’s a prenup in place, under California law Mrs. Gross could theoretically walk away with half her hubby’s fortune and become a billionaire in her own right. And we fully expect her to retain ownership of at least a few of their many luxury California homes.

The Gross Laguna Beach compound

Just for starters, Mr. & Mrs. Gross currently own not one, not two, but three big ol’ houses in the most ultra-exclusive Laguna Beach gated community — Irvine Cove. It’s here where they have mainly resided for nearly the entirety of their marriage. They built their first house, their main residence, here way back in 1989.

The OG Gross Laguna Beach house

Mr. & Mrs. Gross’s blufftop house is one of the largest mansions in the pricey community, weighing in at a decidedly-portly 13,819 square feet with 6 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms. Yolanda would bet big bucks that this house is worth at least $25 million and possibly $30 million or even a bit more in today’s sweltering hot real estate market.

As already mentioned, we think this divorce must’ve come rather suddenly. It was only back in June 2014, you see, that the Gross couple threw down an impressive total of $35,800,000 to acquire two of their neighbors’ homes.

#2

In June 2014, Mr. & Mrs. Gross paid $19,800,000 for the vaguely V-shaped single-story sprawler across the street. According to tax records the current structure was built in 1969 and spans 5,437 square feet with 4 bedrooms and 6 baths. Most valuable, however, are the prized westward ocean views the blufftop structure provides.

…And #3

Just a week after buying house #2, Mr. & Mrs. Gross closed on house #3 for $16,000,000. Property records indicate the mock-Med residence was built in 1979 and has 4 beds and 4.5 baths in 4,561 square feet of living space.

We are not sure what Mr. & Mrs. Gross planned to do with all three of these houses — if anything — but whatever the case, we imagine those plans, if they ever existed, are now kaput. But Yolanda is quite certain that the compound is worth at least $60 million today and possibly as much as $70 million.

The couple have also long owned a vacation home in the hoity-toity Palm Desert resort community of Indian Wells, CA.

The Gross Indian Wells estate

However, the Grosses’ most interesting property (Yolanda believes) is the Beverly Hills mansion that they bought from Jennifer Aniston back in 2011. The couple paid Rachel a brain-deconstructing $35,000,000 for the house back in summer 2011. Ohana, as it was dubbed by Ms. Aniston, was originally built by much-lauded mid-century architect Hal Levitt.

Jennifer Aniston’s Ohana

The Balinese-inspired house lies out of sight and well above the road on what is likely the best street in Beverly Hills’ coveted Trousdale Estates neighborhood. It’s also one of the larger homes in the area, clocking in at 10,000+ square feet with 5 bedrooms and 7.5 baths (two of which are in the master suite).

Most interesting of all, though, is that the double-gated Ohana actually shares a driveway with its next door neighbor. How many $35 million houses have shared driveways? Very few, in Yolanda’s experience.

Really, Ohana is the reason we’re so interested in the Gross divorce. We just wonder whether anyone would match or even exceed the $35 million paid by Mr. Gross back in 2011, a figure that still seems crazy even five years later and even to Yolanda’s jaded self. Yes, it’s right down the road from a $70 million house, but still. We just don’t see $35 million when we look at this place. But what do we know about anything, right?

While we’re not sure which Gross will end up with Ohana and whether he/she/they will dispose of it, we’d like to offer a bit of unsolicited advice. We think it’s time to sell. Yolanda sees Mr. Gross trading the Trousdale house in for something sexy up in the Bird Streets and entertainin’ a bunch of saucy young ladies over at his pad, like many of the other rich bachelors in town. As for Mrs. Gross, we see her up in a penthouse in The Century, that huge Wilshire Corridor skyscraper where Candy Spelling and Vicki Walters and all them other rich widows and divorcees live.

But keep in mind, pumpernickels, this divorce only just got kicked off a couple weeks ago. And divorces can get long and messy. Particularly with billionaires. So we may be looking at a long road ahead before these houses ever see the light of day (or at least pop up on the open market).

You know how these things go. Supposedly one of those Kardashian girls is about to have her divorce finalized this month. And Yolanda could’ve sworn she already divorced this fellow about five faces ago. But whatever!

Until the houses surface, we’ll be salivating.

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