Yolanda has a Romanian pal named Vlad the Revealer who runs the Celebrity Address Aerial website. Mr. Revealer, as he is wont to do, randomly got a bee in his proverbial bonnet. My oh my. You see, he stamped his calfskin-clad foot and demanded we sort out the ownership of a number of houses. Not just any old homes, mind you. Homes that were recently sold to suspicious-looking (and on the surface, impenetrable) entities.
(We tease, Mr. Revealer. You know Yolanda loves you.)
As we’ve told y’all before, Yolanda is always up (or down) for a challenge, so we were only too happy to oblige. We powdered our nose, tugged on our hair-net, removed our Lee Press-On Nails, rolled up our sleeves and dug in.
Among the addresses Mr. Revealer provided, one in particular caught our eye. It’s no secret that the Studio City neighborhood — once maligned by all the pampered and preened Platinum Triangle snobs — has seen a surge in popularity among a certain set of very rich folks. We’re talking about Hollywood celebrities, kiddies. They love this shit. It’s got easy access to Hollywood, Burbank, and (generally) tons of space and privacy to boot. And they’re willing to pay millions to live here. Remember, this is still technically the Valley. It’s a very dark and scary place. Horrors!
The house in question is a brand-new spec build that sits in a quiet and leafy pocket of the Studio City flats. It’s tucked in and bordered by the 101 freeway to the north and Ventura Boulevard to the south. Laurel and Coldwater Canyon Boulevards lie to the the east and west, respectively.
Listing information refers to the 5,500-square-foot mini-mansion as “Spanish-style”. Hmmm. No shade, y’all, but this is not what Yolanda pictures when she imagines a Spanish-style house. Apart from the red roof tiles and white paint, we really don’t see much inside or out that’s Spanish. We’d call this place a very nice and luxurious modern take on a Traditional-esque structure.
But we digress. And we fear we make much ado about nothing! Spanish style it is.
This residence sits on one-half of what used to be a large .52-acre ranch-style property. That sprawler was sold to a developer a couple years ago. Mr. Developer razed the old house, split up the property into two .26-acre parcels, and built the spec-house you see above (and another remarkably similar one next door that just sold for $3.1 million to a Hollywood score composer).
Anyway, the new homeowner here faced a good bit of competition for their new pad. The house was listed with an asking price of $2,995,000 in July (2016) and sold in less than a month for $3,075,000. For you non-math geeks out there, that’s $80k over the ask.
Though the house is technically owned through a blind trust, the new occupants are an actor named Miles Teller and his live-in girlfriend, model Keleigh Sperry.
Mr. Teller may not be a household name in the vein of perennially A-list stars like Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck or George Clooney, but over the past few years he’s quietly been hustlin’ his way to stardom. His feature film debut came in 2010, in the critically-acclaimed (but little-seen) Nicole Kidman production Rabbit Hole. Since then, he’s starred in an eclectic array of box office titles that include Divergent, War Dogs, That Awkward Moment, and The Spectacular Now. His most recognizable roles, however, are as Mister Fantastic in Fantastic Four and as drummer Andrew Neiman in 2014’s Whiplash. The latter role brought him critical acclaim and a BAFTA nomination.
As for Ms. Sperry, she’s a model signed to a major agency and sports nearly 90,000 followers on that Instagram contraption.
The “Spanish-style” casa has two garages – a two-car and a single-car – and a brick driveway that wraps around for easy passenger drop-off and loading.
A step-up front courtyard door with wooden slats leads to the walled, grassy courtyard area with a big upright stone giving the middle finger to all who dare pass.
The interior keeps it cool and trendy with a pleasingly neutral color palette. Both the front door and the sliding courtyard door open into the the formal dining room, which has a glass-enclosed (and cooled?) wall that decoratively flaunts the owner’s booze collection. We imagine Mr. Teller and Ms. Sperry will soon tire of their guests saying the obligatory version of “My, what a big wine lover you must be!” upon initially entering their abode.
Also, if you ask Yolanda, the wine barrels suspended on the wall are nice but seem a bit superfluous. It’s only our useless opinion but we think the whole thing would look much better without those two tacked-on warts. Yes, we’re a mite OCD. Can you tell?
Across the hall is the spacious living room, which features recessed lighting and direct access to the backyard and kitchen.
As you’d expect for a newly-constructed multi-million dollar house, the aforementioned kitchen features a whole yacht-load of high-end appliances. Wolf, in this case. Check out the glass refrigerator, which probably costs more than the housemaid’s brand-new Toyota Yaris.
We appreciate the kitchen’s a perfectly unusual, vaguely farmhouse-inspired wood ceiling, but the persnickety Yolanda notes the room seems a wee bit dark. Perhaps it could do with some more natural light? We’re not sure if those wee little light fixtures are up to the task.
The media room is small and features nary a wet bar, sadly. You mean Yolanda’s gotta carry her own booze from the kitchen to the theater when Mr. Teller invites us over for his housewarming party and we want to watch our Golden Girls re-runs?! Say it ain’t so, Blanche.
The master bedroom gets unexpectedly funky with a vaulted ceiling and an unusual exposed faux beam treatment. Looks like the ceiling’s center piece might flip open like a sunroof, but we doubt that’s the case.
Anywho, the master bathroom is more conventional with its soaking tub, dual vanities, and glass-enclosed shower. There’s also a walk-in closet (not pictured). And the bedroom — if you didn’t notice — has a super-slim terrace overlooking the backyard. The 5-bed/5.75 bath house also four more full guest/family suites.
Speaking of the backyard, there’s a covered patio that leads to a whole bunch of grass. Perfect for your furry friends, be they named Rufus or Buddy or Squished Up Pile of Dirty Khaki Pants (?). In the southwestern corner of the property there lies an itsy-bitsy structure with an open-air cabana and fireplace. Attached is a private full bathroom so nobody need take their soaking-wet selves traipsing through the main house to perform their ablutions.
Other famous Studio City residents include (but are certainly not limited to): George Clooney, Bruno Mars, Chloe Moretz, Clayton Kershaw, Joel McHale, Teri Hatcher, Julie Bowen, Allison Janney, Geoff Johns, and Lana Del Rey.
We’re feeling strangely sweet today so Yolanda and our very own Rabbi Hedda say Mazel Tov to Mr. Heller. Enjoy your big new house, and continued success to you and yours.
Selling agent: Avi Barazani, Coldwell Banker